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Breaking Traditions

I couldn’t wait to have kids and introduce them to all the traditions I enjoyed as a kid and still enjoy as an adult.

Twice a year we have professional photos done; one for a birthday milestone and one for the holidays. It’s always stressful but worth it to see how our family changes over the years. Jon asks me why I put myself through the torture. I reply “its tradition”.

For this year’s holiday photo shoot, I decided to do a trial run. I had free coupons at J.C. Penny so I thought why not? The boys thrive on routines. The trial went well. Here’s the problem: the trial went well. It allowed me to get my hopes up. Something I must never, ever, ever, ever, ever do!

We arrived on time. The minute we entered the studio Aden began to cry. I’m pretty sure between the bright lights and snowy white background, it was sensory overload. Since Aden’s 3rd birthday, we’ve noticed he’s had trouble adapting to certain environments. Sometimes he’s able to regulate and calm down, other times, such as this one, he really didn’t want to be there.

He started hitting himself in the mouth, a new behavior that has me worried. My prediction is that he is struggling to get his words out. Cognitively he understands what he needs/wants, but he isn’t able to project them. To see him struggle with what comes so natural to others is heartbreaking.

I tried to keep it together but failed miserably. Aden left in tears. I left in tears. Jon and I had words, mainly because he thought I was only upset about getting a picture. Yes, of course I wanted a family photo, but that wasn’t the only reason I was upset.

Whenever the boys have an episode unfortunately negative thoughts creep into my head… I become overwhelmed with emotion, consumed with fear. I can’t think straight. I can’t control my thoughts. I begin to wonder is it always going to be like this? The answer: I don’t know.

How many other traditions will be broken? The answer: I don’t know.


Comments on: "Breaking Traditions" (1)

  1. I am so sorry that the family picture did not go as planned. We can get you guys fixed up at home and get a family griswold picture for christmas. It will be great. Everyone is entitled to a bad day – my little buddy Aden had a meltdown. It will get better. The boys advancement from last year is amazing. You are amazing and strong. Have the faith, we All need and love you so much. HANG IN THERE. Better days are on the way. I am keeping the faith everyday and will continue. I LOVE YOU. if you need a break, just open the back door and send those beautiful boys over to see GRAMS. She has plenty of cookies. hehehe.

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